This week, we are continuing our personal Growth for Newbies series. Over the last few weeks, we have
been talking about what personal growth is and how to get started if you really have no clue what you’re
doing, or maybe you’ve never quote unquote, worked on yourself before. Hopefully the last couple
episodes have helped you. We’re gonna continue on in this next step, but you may be wondering what
the reason is that I am so focused on personal growth and why I’m so focused on teaching you about
personal growth and what that has to do with breakups, heartbreak, things like that. So when you are
ending a relationship, when you are, when you have gotten broken up with, or you’re breaking up with
someone else and you’re having a hard time, the reason that we say we stay stuck and we end up
spending a lot of time being sad and lonely and lamenting over the situation is because it is our main
focus in life, right?
Obviously. And that’s normal. When you end a relationship, a long-term relationship, and, and you’re
going through that pain, that pain becomes your sole focus. And that is why it’s so hard to move on
because you’re constantly thinking about your breakup and your relationship and maybe all the things
that they did wrong and all the things that you did wrong. And you can end up stuck in that space for a
really long time. And the question that a lot of people ask is, how do I get over a breakup? How do I
move on? How do I start feeling better? And what I think is personal growth, working on yourself is the
best, most effective, healthiest way to get past this period, because you are putting your focus
somewhere else. And when you do things like create a vision for your life and start to set goals for
yourself, you’re gonna be growing because you’re gonna be working to achieve those goals.
And it’s also going to shift your focus. You’re going to have something to look forward to, something to
work toward, and that is what’s really going to get you out of the rutt that that you end up being stuck in
when you are going through a breakup. When we are heartbroken or we’re hurting, it can be very easy
to turn to coping mechanisms or behaviors that are going to end up with negative outcomes. So you
may know people, or you may even be one of these people where you go through a really hard time in
life, you’re going through a difficult experience, and you turn to something like alcohol or drugs or just,
you know, partying a lot or something like that, or just any kind of self-destructive behavior or any
behavior that is not productive. And it’s, I think it’s normal. I think a lot of people do that, but it’s not
It’s not the best way to cope. And the alternative and the way that I want you to cope and to deal with
what’s going on in your life right now is to turn the focus on yourself and do things that are going to be
productive for you and healthy for you. So with that said, let’s recap just a little bit about what we talked
about the last couple weeks. So in step one of your personal growth journey, you are going to establish
a vision for your life. And the easiest way to do that is with the eight life categories. If you haven’t
listened to that episode yet, I want you to go back and listen to that one first, and then listen to step two
on goal setting, and then come back to this episode because it’s really important that you do things in
Okay? So in, in the first step, we talked about creating a vision with the eight life categories. And then
last week we talked about setting goals and getting more specific when it comes to your vision and
figuring out exactly what it is that you want. So this week we’re gonna talk about planning and how to
actually incorporate working on those steps to achieve your goals on a daily basis, and how you can do
that. Now, I mentioned last week that you may be someone who has a lot of goals. You may be
someone who has never really even thought about setting goals before. But if you listen to last week’s
episode, hopefully you have some things written down. Now you have some things that you want to
achieve. And like I mentioned last week, my suggestion is to start with one thing at a time.
You will find that a lot of the life categories will overlap, and when you start working on one area of your
life, it will kind of spill over into other areas of your life as well. So the, the way to choose a goal to start
with, what I think is, is the best way is to prioritize your most important goal. So what you wanna do is
think about the one thing that if you succeeded at it, it would make the greatest positive change in your
life. The one goal that’s really going to be that first domino for all your other goals that you wanna
achieve. So think about what would make the biggest impact on your life. And then I want you to picture
yourself having already achieved it. You’ve already done it, you’ve completed it. You are in the place
right now that you were wishing months, years ago, that you would get to, okay, so you’re here.
Now, what did you do to get here? Your gut and your intuition, usually your, your first thoughts that you
come up with, those are gonna be the answers. You know the answers, you just don’t know that you
know them yet. I want you to think as if this is already your current reality. What are you doing? What
are you thinking about? What are you thinking about now that you’ve already achieved that massive
goal? Another really helpful thing to do is to seek out people, whether it’s people you know, or people
that are famous for whatever they’ve done. Find people that have succeeded at what you want to
achieve, whether that be in your career, in marriage, in parenting, whatever it is. Look for people. Seek
out people who have achieved what you want to achieve and figure out what they did. That’s the
beautiful thing about life that I think we forget sometimes is pretty much anything that you want to do.
Someone has either done it or done something very similar. And we live in an age where there is so
much information available to us in a matter of seconds. There are books out there, there is the
internet, there is, you can do so much research, you can find out so much information when it comes to
how to achieve a goal simply by studying other people who have succeeded at it. For me, when it comes
to building an online business, building a personal brand, getting my message out to the world, I seek
out people who have already done it. I look to other online entrepreneurs who are very successful. I
study everything that they’ve done. I read their books. I have hired coaches because I know that the
quickest way to get to where I want to go is to do what they have done. Once you start gathering all of
this information and learning everything that you need to know about achieving this goal, do what’s
called a brain dump or create a list of resources, things that you need, things that you’re gonna have to
learn how to do.
For example, when I was buying a house, when I decided that I wanted to buy a house, I knew I was
gonna have to find a realtor. I knew I was gonna have to find a mortgage lender. I knew that I was gonna
have to have a certain credit score to get the mortgage. I knew I was gonna have to save a certain
amount of money for a down payment. So I had this list of all these relatively smaller things that I had to
do, and then I, or I organized them like, this is step one, this is step two, this is step three. The next thing
that you’re going to want to do is to schedule time every single day to work on your goals. So if you think
about it, let’s say you are a full-time employee, you go to work 40 plus hours a week, and you are
working towards somebody else’s goals.
Who owns your company, they had this goal, they created this business. You are working for them.
And there’s nothing wrong with this at all. There’s nothing wrong with being a W2 employee working
nine to five. I do it currently. There’s nothing wrong with it at all. However, a lot of us sometimes will
throw ourselves into our job so much that it causes us stress and our health suffers from it. And we
don’t end up achieving some of the things in life that we want to achieve because we are so focused on
doing things for someone else. And now we all need a paycheck. We all have bills to pay. I get that. But
what I’m saying is, you need to, as hard as you work at your day job, or as hard as you work, maybe to
help other people achieve their goals, like maybe your, your kids or your siblings or somebody else in
your life, you need to be taking time to work on your own goals every single day.
Even if it’s for 5, 10, 15 minutes, it may seem extremely small and like you’re not gonna get anything
accomplished if you’re only spending 10 minutes doing something towards your goals every day. But
that 10 minutes, day after day, after day after day after day, it’s going to add up. But the key and the
most important part is taking that action to doing something every day that’s going to push you in the
direction that you wanna go, that’s gonna move that needle just a tiny bit forward. Many people will use
the phrase, I don’t have time, and I’m not gonna lie to you. Sometimes I say this, I, I get frustrated when
something else comes up that I need to get done. And I just think I don’t have time. There’s just not
enough time in the day. I don’t have time. And here’s the thing, you can’t do everything.
You can’t do everything every day, but this is where you have to prioritize. And I, I always say that
people make time for the things that they really want. So it’s just like when you’re dating somebody and
you know, they kind of dodge you a lot, or they’re very hard to get ahold of, or they don’t always text
you back, or they make plans and cancel and all that. I, you know, in those situations, I always say,
people make time for what they want. If they wanna see you, then they’re going to make space and
make time for you. And you should be doing the same thing with your goals. So if it means waking up a
little bit earlier, you need to do it. If it means staying up a little bit later, you need to do it. Your life you
are responsible for, for your life and your success in life, and whatever areas that you wanna be
successful in, your relationships, your health, your finances, you are the captain of the ship.
So you decide where it is that you’re gonna go. And part of doing that is by carving out this time regularly, consistently to do what is important to you. The best way that I’ve found to plan daily actions is the through the methods that I, I learned about from the book, the one thing that I mentioned in last week’s episode. So every single day, I think to myself, what is the one thing that I can do today to get me closer to my goals? And usually it ends up being a few things, but I always have one task that I tell myself, I am not going to bed tonight until this task is completed. Tonight. It was this podcast, it’s the end of the day. I am tired. I work today. I have a headache, , but I’m committed. And I told myself, I am not going to go to bed until this is done.
I’m getting this done. So I want you to plan for consistency, but understand that you might miss the
mark every now and then. But that doesn’t mean that you should quit. If you go a whole day and you
don’t end up doing anything towards your goal, if you don’t end up putting any work in towards your
goal, it’s okay. Just don’t let it continue like that. Maybe the next day you double the time that you had
planned, that you had set aside to work on your goal. Part of achieving your goals is, like I said, learning
from other people who have done it. So what I try to do when I don’t have a ton of time is I try to
incorporate learning time into my every day. Even if I’m not maybe producing something or creating
something, I am at least doing some passive learning.
So I am listening to a podcast or an audio book on my commute to and from work. I’m listening to
something when I have to do the dishes or do laundry. So even if that is the only thing that you can do,
then do that. Just remember that when you do have time to actually take action and produce
something, that is gonna be the thing that you are gonna wanna do. Because listening to podcasts and
audio books are great, but they’re not gonna produce any results. It’s the taking action that is what’s
gonna produce results. When you are planning out your scheduled time to complete whatever it is that
you need to get done, you need to eliminate distractions as much as you can. So that might mean
closing the blinds or unplugging the television, shutting off your phone, whatever it is that you have to
do, even if, like I said, even if it’s just for those five, 10 minutes, you need to be completely focused on
whatever it is that you’re doing on your priority, on your one thing.
So when it comes to planning out how you’re going to achieve your goals, you need to first prioritize
them. Pick what is most important for you, what’s gonna have the biggest impact on your life? Think
about your life from the future as if you’ve already achieved this goal. Look for other people who have
achieved the same thing or something similar. Learn what they did. Come up with resources that you’re
gonna need, things that you’re gonna need to do, tasks that you’re gonna need to complete. And then
scheduling time, hopefully every single day to work on your goals. Make sure that you anticipate any
roadblocks, you eliminate distractions. And if you do all of these things, you will be successful. This is
what I have been practicing for a while now, and it works and it’s, you know, the things that I’ve
accomplished, which seemed really big at at some point in the past, it’s like, well, I’m already here now
and, and I did it, and I can’t wait to see what else I can do.
Personal growth and working on my goals has become such a central part of my life, and it kind of has
become how I function every single day. So I check in with myself multiple times a day, every time I
make a decision, every and pretty much everything I do, I’m asking myself, is this contributing to my
goals? Or is this maybe hindering me from my goals? Or is this just sort of neutral? It’s just something
that I have to do and it’s not really one way or the other. So if I can get to the point where, you know,
90% of the things that I’m doing every day are helping me get towards my goals, then that’s huge. That’s
amazing. So just always keep your goals and your vision for your life at the forefront of your mind, and
understand that the work that you do on yourself is going to be the most important work that you will
ever do, because it’s going to affect everything else, your home life, your marriage, your family life, your
career, your financial life, your health.
Every aspect of your life is going to be a result of the work that you did internally. And with that, this concludes part three or step three of our three step series on personal growth for newbies. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you found it helpful. If you did send me a DM on Instagram to let me know, it’s at @theheartbreaknurse, or you can email me, it’s email@example.com. I would love to know what you learned from this, what you got out of this. If you are enjoying this show, please, I would so appreciate it if you would leave me a review and a rating when you leave reviews and ratings, positive ones, hopefully . It helps the podcast get pushed out to other people who may be interested in the content, and it helps the podcast grow and it helps our community grow. And as always, I’m so appreciative to have you here and to let me be the voice in your ear or the voice in your car stereo. So thank you. I appreciate it, and I will see you guys next week.
Are you ready and determined to make this next season of your life the best season of your life? I
believe that any person who is willing to invest in their personal growth has the ability to accomplish
anything. And I wanna give you the tools to make that happen. That’s why I created Heartbreak Hero.
It’s my premier program designed to help high value people just like you heal from their breakup,
discover who they truly are and find their ideal partner. Visit theheartbreaknurse.com to sign up now
and get ready to make your comeback.
ICU nurse by day,
breakup coach by night.
After dealing with a devastating heartbreak that turned my world upside down, I made a conscious decision to pursue the life of my dreams and never settle.
Now, I teach other women how to do the same.
MORE ABOUT ME
FUN FACT: MY FAVORITE PIZZA IS HAWAIIAN (AND I'LL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT IT!)
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”
- Dalai Lama
Feeling stuck after your breakup and wanna start feeling better ASAP? I have a free class just for you. In it, I’ll teach you the seven things I wish I’d done right from the start. These are small, actionable tasks that will help set you up for success on your healing journey.
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